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(431 of them are Armin)

!! BEST VIEWED IN
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NETSCAPE NOW! MADE ON A PC NO FRAMES!! MIDI ON

Hallo und herzlich willkommen on the internet homepage of Armin. This page is my personal corner of the World Wide Web where I collect the things that make me happy: historical assassins, ice hockey, enterprise software and one (1) small mammal. Please do not resize your browser window, it breaks everything.

► ASSASSIN'S CREED MERCH SHOP

Authentic replica goods. Shipping 6-8 weeks by post. We accept cash in an envelope.

Hidden Blade (Foam) ╱╲ Does not extend. Does not retract. Smells like a pool noodle. CHF 89.90	Ezio Hoodie XXL ▲ Hood is sewn shut. Beak is purely decorative. One size fits Armin. CHF 129.00	Eagle Feather (real!!) ✦ Legally a pigeon feather. Comes in a small bag. CHF 4.50
Apple of Eden Desk Lamp ◉ USB powered. Flickers. Emits low humming noise at 3am. CHF 59.00	Haystack (1x) ◢◣ For jumping into. Not rated for jumping into. Farm pickup only. CHF 240.00	Animus Office Chair ◫ Relive the memories of your ancestors AND your lumbar spine. CHF 1'190.00

>> view shopping cart (0 items, 1 error)

► HOCKEY NEWS & RESULTS

Posted: Tuesday, 11:48
EHC Zizers Zamboni Breaks Down Mid-Period, Game Continues Anyway
The third period was played on what officials generously described as "textured ice". Two players reported being overtaken by a hedgehog during a breakaway. Final score 4-3, or 4-4, depending on which side of the rink you were standing on.

Posted: Monday, 19:02
Goalie Signs 6-Year Contract, Immediately Forgets Where He Put His Stick
The club confirmed the deal is worth "a number of francs". The stick was later found in the equipment manager's car, which nobody can explain.

Posted: last week sometime
Referee Reviews Goal For 11 Minutes, Declares It "Probably Fine"
The video review system crashed twice and displayed a registry error before rebooting into the arena's Christmas light controller.

#	TEAM	GP	PTS	NOTES
1	EHC Zizers	14	31	unbeaten at home (1 home game)
2	SC Untervaz Ice Dragons	14	28	good vibes
3	HC Registry Editors	14	22	keep editing the table
4	Igel Landquart	13	19	hibernating, will resume in March

► QUOTE OF THE DAY

"There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share."

— Steve Ballmer, 2007, on the record, out loud, to a journalist.

Tomorrow's quote: also Steve Ballmer. Every day's quote is Steve Ballmer. This is a Ballmer website.

► REGISTRY CORNER (ADVANCED USERS ONLY!!!)

WARNING: Editing the registry incorrectly may cause serious problems, such as your computer becoming sad. Back up first. Or don't. I'm a website, not a cop.

Windows Registry Editor Version 5.00

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Armin\HappyPlace]
"Mood"=dword:0000007f
"CoffeeLevel"=dword:00000000
"TicketsInQueue"=dword:ffffffff
"EnableFunAtWork"=dword:00000001

[HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Armin\HappyPlace\Hedgehog]
"Name"="Ignaz"
"SpikeCount"=dword:00001b58
"AutoStart"=dword:00000001
"LastSeen"="behind the server rack"

Apply with regedit /s happyplace.reg, then reboot. Then reboot again. Then call the helpdesk and pretend you did neither.

► MEET IGNAZ, THE OFFICIAL SITE HEDGEHOG

Name: Ignaz
Species: European hedgehog (Erinaceus europaeus)
Role: Chief Infrastructure Officer
Hobbies: Sleeping in the cable tray, defeating motion sensors, existing.
Uptime: 6 months, then 6 months of scheduled downtime. No exceptions.

Ignaz has full admin rights and does not document anything. Hover over him, he likes that.

► GUESTBOOK

xX_ezio1476_Xx wrote: nice site, where is the haystack, i ordered the haystack

steve_b_1956 wrote: DEVELOPERS

anonymous wrote: i deleted HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT and now my mouse is a printer. please advise

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